and have never been in such a "serious" machine. Irfan's only 2. After the scan, the result was out in less than half an hour. The doctors said there's no sign of fracture or brain bleeding (Alhamdulillah) but they want irfan warded for observation. I didn't agree coz I felt I could observe by myself at my parents' home & could immediately rush to the hospital if anything happened since it's only 2 minutes away. But Mr.H agreed. Being at the paediatric ward in Hospital Kajang made me edgy. I couldn't stand being around sick kids. Don't get me wrong. It wretches my heart to see babies and toddlers crying and moaning in pain. Irfan was placed in front of a toddler who was in such pain that she kept pleading "tolong...tolong saya...sakit..." And I was having a hard time not to cry for her myself. I started to feel stressed and sick myself so after a few hours of trying to withstand, I talked to the doctor and demanded to be "released" from the ward. The specialist agreed and I didn't have to sign the self-responsibility release form coz he says he could approve the discharge on consideration that irfan have stopped vomiting for the past 12 hours though he usually releases patients after 24 hours.
That night, I really did fall sick myself. Everything I ate during breaking of fast was vomited out. Even plain water. Mr.H took me to Kajang Medical Plaza and the doctor gave me an MC. I was quite annoyed when he hesitated coz how cold hearted can you be to not give MC to someone who could barely sit, what more walk and you know the person couldn't possible be better the next morning. If he didn't give the patient an MC and the patient had to go to work the next day, if the patient vomited or suddenly had intense pain during driving and got into an accident, the blame would be on the doctor's head.
The next morning (Friday, 26/07)I couldn't even get up from bed and thus, didn't Sahur and didn't fast. I vomited everything I ate and had to stay close to the toilet.
On Saturday (27/07), I felt better, was able to fast and went to my high school's Majlis Iftar at Redwok Bangi with Mr.H and Irfan. My sister who just came back from Ireland with her 3 children fell sick on Saturday and vomited everything they ate too. My sister said that probably Irfan's vomiting a few days ago had nothing to do with head injury but was a viral attack (which tempoh eraman 3 days & infectious towards other people). But since they had already bought the flight tickets to KB along with my mom, they proceeded with the balik kampung plan while me, Mr.H and the kids would balik kampung after raya before flying to Michigan.
On Monday (29/07), I received an sms from my mom telling me that my grandmother had passed away . I sat on my chair, staring out the window, feeling lost. I should have taken the flight back to Kelantan with my mom last Saturday. I shouldn't have waited for after bulan puasa to go back to Kelantan. My sister said, "One day we would all be grandmas and our grandchildren texts about our death from their offices". Then, at about 10am, my mom texted me again, asking if I was coming. So, I called a taxi, went to the airport, and bought the next flight out to KB (you cant buy online if the flight's departure is within less than 6 hours). Since it was a last minute thing, it costed me about rm400. My uncle, Ayah Man, came to pick me up at the airport. I bought the return tickets for the flight which was the same as my mom and sister...which was that night. I was in Kelantan for only 5 hours. I was so exhausted and I started bleeding heavily again. I reached back to Kajang around midnight and the next day, I was back at the office by 7.30am.
Thursday (8/08), raya came. We used to go to so many houses till midnight but not this raya. The first day of raya, my father in law got so sick by 5pm so our raya was shortlived. We stayed at home the rest of the days (till Sunday). On the second day of raya (9/08), I spent the whole day finishing my visa application. On the third and fourth day of raya (10-11/08), I was down with fever.
On Monday, before i went to work, Mr.H said he's staying the night with his parents (meaning I'll be sleeping alone with the kids). At the office, i complained about how hard it was to contact this certain department (in regarding my scholarship) coz i've been trying to contact them for about two weeks to no avail and a friend said "selepas kesusahan akan datang kesenangan". insyaAllah. After I came back from work, I watched a silly movie with Umairah, "Beautiful Creatures". I say it's silly coz I feel that the heroin's character's too dumb and a brat. Anyhow, after Marghrib, Mr.H called and said his father was unconscious. After Isya', he called and said his father had passed away. I left Umairah & Irfan with my mom and drove alone through LEKAS to Seremban. When I arrived, there were already so many people and I overheard people asking other people where I was. Not that they even remember my name but just referred me as "(menantu) yang sulung tu". Urgh. How I hate the "sulung"-ness and all the traditionally imposed responsibility that comes with it.
This part about my father in law is too personal for me to write coz although I only knew him for 6 years (unlike other people who have known him his whole life), I do love him and have fond memories of him.
What I'm trying to say here is, there has been a series of unfortunate event in my life lately. The prospect of going to Michigan before my class starts seems bleak. Getting out of bed seems to be more difficult each day.
But I keep reminding myself that I'm not facing much...compared to my friend who's daughter is dying... I hope I never have to face something like that ever in my life. Ever.
So, stop feeling sorry for yourself (coz that's just so un-macho) and just try to make things better.
IF you can't make things better, the one word that the pakcik (yang mandi kan mayat ayah mertua saya) said and was the only thing that needed to be said
"Redhakan...".
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