Yesterday, I received an FB invitation to my high school reunion. A reunion after 13 years. At first, I was excited. I was wondering how they were doing now, were their characters still the same, did they still talk the same way they did in high school, etc. I didn't wonder about who became fat and who became hot coz you could obviously see that on their FB Profile page.
When I went through the list of "Confirmed Attendance", I started to have doubt about going. All the ones that had confirmed attendance were the ones who were popular (back then in high school). They were the ones who probably thought of high school as their best years ever.
It was the total opposite for me. Life in that science boarding school (at that time it's called SBP - Sekolah Berasrama Penuh, now I think they have a different name for straight-A-student schools...wlpn ada je yg x dpt straight-A pun dpt masuk) was horrible for me.
There were jerks who kept mocking me because of the way I speak, among other things. I don't think I 'speak-funny' anymore but I still don't use "aku" and "kau" in my sentences. Somehow, that bothers them. I'm not scared about bumping into them at the reunion. They've most probably changed after 13 years. I just don't have anything to say to them. I couldn't possibly ask "It's been 13 years...are you still a jerk?" but I would love to. Ahaha.
There were jerks who kept mocking me because of the way I speak, among other things. I don't think I 'speak-funny' anymore but I still don't use "aku" and "kau" in my sentences. Somehow, that bothers them. I'm not scared about bumping into them at the reunion. They've most probably changed after 13 years. I just don't have anything to say to them. I couldn't possibly ask "It's been 13 years...are you still a jerk?" but I would love to. Ahaha.
There are also those on the invited list whom I have no memory of. It would be dreadful if that person remembers me and pin-points the exact moments that we talked or did something together that I apparently felt was not significant enough for me to remember. Some people really get offended if you don't remember them. I don't get offended when people don't remember me. I'm well aware of my personality (or lack of). In other words, I blend in the shadows. Being an extreme introvert back then (according to Myers-Briggs, one of the rarest of the 16 personality types, an account of 1-4% of the population) I only talk to certain people and prefer interacting with a few close friends.
Come to think of it now, the close friends that mattered most to me back than are still in my contact list...what's the point of me going to the reunion, then?
I called Mr.H for 'guidance'. He said he'd go with me if I wanted him to. Yup, Mr.H is that confident when it comes to socializing, even in a crowd of total strangers. Hmmm...budak mass-com... He couldn't understand what was holding me back. "Anggap je la pergi sana untuk makan-makan".
On my way back from work, stuck in the massive traffic jam (congestion's really bad during the fasting month), I called up one of my closest friend, who's also from that school, and asked her if she was going. At least I'd have someone for me to 'berkepit' with or help me remember the names of some I might have forgotten. She said she might be out of town that day. There goes my 'safe escape-plan'.
She asked me what was holding me back. I told her about the confirmed attendance list and she didn't need me to elaborate further. "You were popular too," she said. Yeah, for the wrong reasons.
She asked me what was holding me back. I told her about the confirmed attendance list and she didn't need me to elaborate further. "You were popular too," she said. Yeah, for the wrong reasons.
Argh. Reunion jitters...
Should I go?
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